Sexified
by aislynnlily
Summary: After the sexy lessons, Blaine feels really bad about how uncomfortable Kurt was.  Brittany shows Blaine a new side to Kurt and suddenly Blaine doesn't know how to cope with this new knowledge.  Klaine, Blaine and Brittany friendship, fluff and humor.


**A/N: It always kind of bothered me that Blaine told Kurt he didn't look sexy during "Animal," didn't disagree with the baby penguin comment, and then actually tried to give him lessons on being sexy (which is even more ridiculous now that Blaine is a year younger.) I'm pretty sure this has been done before, but this is what I wish had happened. This one goes AU halfway through the episode "Sexy."**

Blaine was lost in thought, blazer off and hooked on a finger over his shoulder. He had left Kurt's house and driven to the mall to wander aimlessly after his attempt at teaching Kurt how to be "sexy," and while he couldn't pinpoint why he was feeling so badly now, he knew that he had gone wrong somewhere along the line. He tried to think back, knowing that they were okay before they sang "Animal" to the Crawford Country Day girls. After the song he had told Kurt that he looked like...like he was having gas pains. And then Blaine had gone to his house to give him lessons on being sexy.

"Oh God. I'm an idiot," he mumbled to himself. While he hadn't been wrong about how awkward those "sexy" expressions were, he suddenly realized that telling Kurt – a boy who already had confidence issues about his sexiness – that he looked like he was having gas pains while he was attempting to look sexy was probably not his brightest idea. How in the world could he make this better?

"Hi Blaine!" exclaimed a cheerful voice from behind him.

Blaine turned around to see one of the Cheerios (Brittany, he was pretty sure) bouncing up to his side. He hadn't talked to her much but knew from their few interactions - as well as from stories told to him by Kurt - that while she was sometimes a little dim, she was a sweetheart.

"Hi…Brittany, right?" he asked.

"Yep, that's me," she chirped. "What are you doing here? I'm trying to find Lord Tubbington. He likes to come to the mall to hang out with his friends and I think he was going to buy some new sunglasses today."

Blaine hesitated, not quite sure how to respond. "Er, I'm here because Kurt and I got in a fight. Well, not really a fight, but he got upset and asked me to leave. And now I feel bad. So I'm wandering around thinking and hoping I'll come up with a solution to fix things."

"What did you fight about?" Brittany asked curiously.

"Um...I may have made him think that he wasn't very good at being sexy. But it was because he was making these really weird faces, and I was just embarrassed for him," he rushed to say. He was feeling worse about the whole thing by the minute.

Brittany pondered this for a moment. "But Kurt is really sexy. And a good boyfriend. And a good kisser. Aren't you a dolphin too?" she asked.

Blaine had no idea where to even start with all that. "What?" he asked in complete confusion.

"You know, a dolphin. A gay shark?" she asked like this was the most obvious thing in the world and he was an idiot.

"Oh...yes, I'm gay," he said, relieved that he could respond to at least one of the things she'd asked. "What do you mean a good boyfriend and kisser?" he asked.

"Oh, Kurt's capital G gay, but last year we dated for a little while so that I could perfect my record." At Blaine's confused look, she clarified, "Of making out with every boy in school."

"You and Kurt dated? And kissed?" he asked in disbelief, thinking about their fight a few weeks ago that started when Blaine went on a date with Rachel. He made a mental note to ask about this in the future...maybe when Kurt wasn't mad at him anymore.

"Yep. And he's really sexy. All you have to do is watch the videos of him performing. Like 'Single Ladies' with Tina and me, the Madonna one he did with Mercedes and the cheerleaders, and the school assembly one where I was Britney Spears and everyone else backed me up." She said. "He's really sexy. If he wasn't a dolphin, I bet he could have any girl he wanted." Brittany turned around to find Blaine a few steps behind her, where he'd stopped in amazement, his brain unable to process what he'd just been told.

"Kurt's...performed all those songs?" he asked in wonder. "And there are videos?" He suddenly surged forward and grabbed Brittany's elbow. "Do you have access to these videos?" he asked a little frantically.

Brittany pried his fingers off her elbow with a slight wince and twined her fingers with his. "Yep. I have them on my computer at home. Santana told me I should keep them safe for him, 'cause he might need them sometime. Then she laughed and it sounded kind of evil. Like she sounds when she's planning something that someone won't like very much..." Brittany's voice and expression had gone slightly vacant as she veered off on the tangent.

Blaine gently squeezed her fingers with his, only thinking for a moment about how strange it felt to be holding hands with a girl he hardly knew. But it felt nice. "Brittany, focus for me. Can you take me to see these videos?"

"Oh, sure," she said cheerfully. "I've been all over the mall about four times and I haven't found Lord Tubbington yet, so maybe he got his sunglasses and went home. We can leave now."

Blaine was almost afraid to ask. "Brittany? Who's Lord Tubbington?"

"That's my cat, silly!" she laughed as though he was a little slow.

Blaine's brain was starting to hurt. Of course he's a cat, he thought as they headed for the mall exit.

* * *

><p>"Lord Tubbington!" Brittany exclaimed when she opened her bedroom door and spotted the biggest cat Blaine had ever seen laying on her bed. She walked over to heft the huge cat in her arms and kissed him on top of the head. "I wonder where he hid his sunglasses?"<p>

Blaine just chuckled to himself. Brittany was a character, but Kurt was absolutely correct in that she was so sweet and even innocent in some ways that the crazy things she said were just endearing.

She carried her computer over to the bed after setting the cat down and pulled up the relevant files. "Sit here," she said as she patted the spot next to her, seemingly oblivious to the fact that she was inviting a boy she barely knew to join her on her bed.

Blaine mentally shrugged and joined her on the bed, scooting close enough that both of them could see the screen.

"Okay, so this one was from our sophomore year. Kurt used this dance to win the football game," Brittany explained.

"Wait, I thought you said he was a cheerleader?" Blaine was completely confused again. He had a feeling that was a common state for anyone that spent any time with Brittany.

"He was a cheerleader a few months after this. Just pay attention," she said impatiently as she hit play.

Blaine felt his jaw slowly drop as he took in the video. Kurt was wearing...well, it looked like a skin-tight unitard. And sequins. And skin-tight jeans. And holy shit could he move his hips! Blaine reached up to loosen his tie and open the top button on his shirt, already feeling a little warm. How was this the same boy that had performed "Animal" with him earlier today? And made those ridiculous faces in the mirror afterwards?

While he had been lost in thought, the video had finished and Brittany had pulled up the next one. "So this happened when Mr. Schue wouldn't give solos to anyone but Rachel and Finn, and Kurt and Mercedes decided to join the Cheerios to sing during the performances. They were really good and helped us win Nationals that year. This performance was really fun."

Blaine watched as the cheerleaders and band came out onto the gym floor to the music, heavily dominated by the horn section. And there was Kurt. In a cheerleader's uniform. A very sexy cheerleader's uniform. Then he started singing. Oh. My. God. Was that a grunt? How could a grunt be sexy? Blaine wondered as he watched Kurt dance. How does he move like that? And those sultry looks he kept sending to the audience. Blaine shifted on the bed, feeling a light sheen of sweat break out on his forehead. Kurt was HOT.

Next up was a school assembly. "We were doing Britney Spears, because we share the same name and she taught me that I'm fabulous. I decided that I should have all the solos, but then I realized that I didn't have enough time for Cheerios and all the solos, so I gave most of them back to Rachel," she explained. "This one started the Britney Spears sex riot."

And it was no wonder. As a Warbler, Blaine could appreciate the incredible vocals, but once again he felt his jaw dropping at the choreography. And was that the teacher doing those extremely suggestive dance moves with the students? Blaine picked Kurt out of the crowd of dancing glee members and watched as he performed the pelvic thrusts along with everyone else. Those hips couldn't be attached to the rest of him, Blaine thought as he shifted again in an attempt to get comfortable. When Kurt used two hats to cover and uncover Mercedes chest, Blaine felt his eyes bug out. How in the world had the choir teacher thought this was a good idea?

As the video came to an end, Blaine took a deep breath as he realized something: Kurt was really freaking sexy. The way he moved, the expressions he gave the camera; when he wasn't trying, he was just naturally sensual. And that was most likely the problem; he had been trying too hard during the "Animal" performance. The group had talked about doing a sexy performance and they were all attempting to be sexy. Blaine felt awful now.

"You really like him, don't you?" Brittany asked as she set the computer on the bedside table.

Blaine looked at her in surprise. How very...perceptive of her. "I don't think I even realized it until recently," he said softly. "We're friends...we've been friends from the start."

"That's okay," Brittany chirped happily. "Santana and I are friends, but we make out sometimes too. You should ask him out," she continued before Blaine could ask anything about the relationship between the two Cheerios.

"Well first I have to figure out a way to get him to forgive me for telling him he wasn't sexy," he said, half to himself. "Thanks Brittany. I really appreciate your help."

"You're welcome," she said as she kissed him on the cheek. "Just don't hurt my favorite dolphin or I'll send Lord Tubbington after you. He was an assassin before he came to live with me," she said solemnly.

* * *

><p>The next day at school, Kurt seemed to be coping with his discomfort over the "sexy incident" by acting like nothing had happened. In the meantime, Blaine discovered that he had a new problem.<p>

They were walking down the hall to class when Blaine slowed down to check a due date in his notebook. When he looked back up, Kurt was several steps in front of him and Blaine's eyes were automatically drawn to his ass. He was suddenly vividly reminded of the videos and how easily Kurt was able to move his hips in a very provocative manner. Blaine tugged on the collar of his shirt, eyes glued to the cute posterior in front of him when he suddenly bumped into someone.

"Hey, watch where you're going!" called a senior that Blaine only knew by sight.

The commotion had caught Kurt's attention and he turned around to see what was going on. Blaine felt his face getting warm and knew he was turning a bright shade of red.

"Everything okay?" Kurt asked in concern.

"Yes. Fine. Let's go to class, we're going to be late," Blaine quickly tried to cover. That was close, he thought. He needed to keep it together.

* * *

><p>The next incident was in Warbler practice two days later. The group was doing another one of their many step-touch routines and when they turned to face the back of the room, Blaine was suddenly presented with Kurt's backside again. This time his view was unhindered by a blazer; most of the boys had ditched them when the combination of dancing and a stuffy room had made for a very uncomfortable rehearsal. Blaine found himself unable to look away again, and he lost count of the steps. He realized that he was out of step with everyone else when the view of Kurt's backside became a view of his crotch. He glanced up to find Kurt looking at him with eyebrow raised, and felt himself turning red again.<p>

"Blaine, what are you doing?" Wes asked in exasperation. "You're the one that choreographed this part. From the top, guys. Blaine, try to stay with everyone else this time."

"Sorry Wes. Sorry everyone," Blaine mumbled.

Blaine made a point of looking over Kurt's head at the portrait on the wall the next time they faced the back of the room.

* * *

><p>The next day, Kurt pulled his Navigator up to The Lima Bean for their standing after school coffee "date." As Kurt was climbing out of the driver's seat, Blaine remembered that he had forgotten to move his wallet from his backpack to his pocket after Warblers' practice that afternoon. He leaned over to grab it from the bag and jumped out of the passenger seat to catch up with Kurt, realizing too late that he was faced with Kurt's very attractive posterior again. Unable to unglue his eyes from Kurt's ass, Blaine's foot caught the edge of the curb. Blaine yelped and started flailing his arms in an attempt to stay on his feet, drawing Kurt's attention.<p>

"Blaine," Kurt sounded both amused and exasperated. "What are you doing?" he asked. "You've been acting really weird lately. Is something wrong?"

At this point, Blaine had regained his balance and was smoothing down his blazer in an attempt at regaining his dignity.

"I'm fine," he said stiffly, trying not to let Kurt see how ruffled he actually was. "The sun was in my eyes and I didn't see the curb."

Blaine stalked past Kurt, momentarily cursing both the boy and his cute butt for causing him so much distress lately. He didn't see Kurt pointedly look in the direction of the sun…which was currently behind them.

* * *

><p>That weekend, Kurt and Blaine had started at The Lima Bean for coffee then driven to the mall. Kurt had found a new pair of shoes in a catalogue that he absolutely had to have and had invited Blaine along. They were walking from one store to another chatting about the latest Warbler song selection (and Kurt was lamenting the lack of anything older than three years on their set list) when Blaine saw a display of bowties in a men's store. He veered off to see if any of them would look good with one of his new shirts when he felt Kurt walk up next to him.<p>

"We can go in if you want," Kurt offered.

"No. I don't really see anything that grabs me. But we may have to stop at the tie section in the next department store we go in," Blaine said.

"Okay. That's fine with me. I've been looking for a new bowtie, too," Kurt said as he turned and continued to walk towards the next store.

Blaine lingered a moment more, trying to picture the cardigan on display with his purple plaid shirt, then gave up and turned to follow Kurt…only to be confronted with his backside again. In skinny jeans. And this time he was grooving to the music coming out of the music store he was passing, and those damn hips were _moving_.

Blaine felt something in his brain snap. He strode purposefully up to Kurt and took his hand firmly in his, pulling him down the corridor that was just past the music store. Blaine kept walking, ignoring Kurt's inquiries as to what was wrong, and where were they going. He found a little nook about halfway down the deserted hallway and pushed Kurt gently against the wall, following to crowd into his personal bubble.

"Blaine, what the hell is wrong with you? Where are we and why did you manhandle me to get me here?" Kurt asked snippily.

Uh oh. Sassy Kurt was coming out. Blaine knew he had to act fast. He took both of Kurt's hands in his and looked into Kurt's eyes solemnly.

"Kurt, I was so wrong. I told you you weren't sexy. I am an idiot. You are so unbelievably sexy and you don't even try."

"Wha-" Kurt started to say, then his eyes widened as Blaine started to lean towards him.

Blaine took his time, wanting to give Kurt the opportunity to stop him if it wasn't what he wanted. The last thing he wanted to do was remind Kurt in any way of the forced kiss from Karofsky. So he leaned in slowly, watching Kurt, and closing his eyes at the last moment before their lips met.

Blaine immediately knew that he never wanted to stop kissing this boy. He let go of Kurt's hands and brought his own up to cup Kurt's cheeks, tilting his head slightly to deepen the kiss. He felt a thrill when he felt Kurt's hands cup the sides of his waist, then curve around to the small of his back to pull their bodies closer together. Blaine finally pulled back, leaning his forehead into Kurt's while both of them took a moment to catch their breath.

"I hope that was okay," Blaine whispered. When Kurt nodded, he continued. "What I was trying to say is that you _are_ sexy. So sexy that I couldn't keep my hands off of you for one more minute. You are so talented and I had no idea you could dance li…" Blaine cut himself off, hoping that Kurt wouldn't ask.

"Wait…dance like what? When did you see me dance? Blaine…" Kurt said in warning when Blaine tightened his lips, obviously not wanting to elaborate.

Blaine sighed. "Okay, fine. I felt really bad after I gave you those stupid sexy lessons, and I ran into Brittany and she told me about videos and I went home with her and watched them."

"Which videos?" Kurt did not sound amused.

"'Single Ladies,' 'Four Minutes,' and 'Toxic.' I'm sorry Kurt, she mentioned them and I had to see them. But you are so hot in them and I realized that you're sexy when you're not even trying. And ever since I saw them, I can't keep my eyes off your hips," he mumbled the last part sheepishly.

"Is that what's been going on lately?" Kurt laughed, unable to be mad at this explanation. "I've been wondering what was wrong with you."

"Kurt, the only thing wrong with me is that I've been an idiot. I've been ignoring something that's right in front of my face in a misguided attempt at not ruining our friendship. But the truth is I really like you. A lot." Kurt was blushing now, and Blaine ignored the butterflies in his belly and kept going. "Kurt, will you be my boyfriend?"

The smile that broke out on Kurt's face was bright enough to light up Blaine's whole world. He leaned forward and kissed Blaine softly on the mouth, lingering for a moment and just enjoying the sensations. "I would love to be your boyfriend," Kurt said softly.

Blaine's answering smile rivaled Kurt's. He pulled Kurt to him and hugged him tightly, loving how perfectly his body fit with Kurt's. He pulled away and twined his fingers with Kurt's, pulling him back into the hall. As they walked back to towards the stores, Kurt squeezed Blaine's hand gently.

"Wait. So Brittany still has those videos of me performing?" he asked.

"Yeah, she said something about Santana wanting her to keep them," Blaine explained.

"Probably for some type of future blackmail or something. I'm going to have to talk to her about those. I can't believe she showed them to you," Kurt said in exasperation, unable to be truly mad at Brittany, but a little perturbed nonetheless.

"When I told her about our fight and me telling you that you weren't sexy, she decided to prove me wrong. Speaking of which, she mentioned something else that had me intrigued. Something about the two of you dating and kissing?" Blaine asked with eyebrow raised.

Kurt paused for a moment with a deer in the headlights expression on his face. Suddenly he pointed across the mall at a store display. "Look at that! We should go check that out. Right now," he said as he pulled Blaine behind him.

Blaine chuckled at Kurt's deflection as he allowed himself to be pulled along. He would let him change the subject this time, but they would be having this conversation at some point in the future. He had a feeling this story was just too good to let go.


End file.
